This post comes a bit late. I had originally planned to release this on our 6th month mark, but well, we’ve been busy. Hence, the slight delay. Anyway, here goes.
They say the first few months of marriage is a new phase of getting to know your partner all over again. Small things you’ve never noticed before and behaviors you’ve never encountered in the past surface. And based on banter of elder folk who have long passed this stage, it’s a time for rediscovery, little quarrels here and there, and learning to do some old things in new ways.
Frankly speaking they were all right. About everything. However, I found the experience really fun and exciting because part of the process is learning-by-doing and going about things through trial and error (or more often than not just plain errors) together. This made the small triumphs in everyday living feel more victorious. And through it all, you uncover sides of you and your partner that are quite surprising.
Here are a few things I learned (in no specific order) after 7 months of being married.
(1) Cooking isn’t so bad after all! Honestly, I was most afraid of having to cook. Even if I had some prior practice during my bridal shower, I still wasn’t really confident I could manage in the kitchen on my own. But now, hey, I’m not that terrible at it and I actually made some dishes that my husband loves.
(2) I used to have a messy room, now I keep fixing everything and I keep sweeping the floor! Turns out, since there’s no one to clean up after us, I wan’t to make sure we make the least amount of mess possible. Everything should have a place and be in its place.
(3) Time is no longer mine, it’s ours. Some people fear losing time for themselves after getting married and having a family. I don’t have kids yet, and I’ve heard it is a whole different story, but what I can say now is that while you lose time for yourself, you have more time together–and that’s not bad at all! I don’t have as much “me” time as before but the “us” time is even more fun. I also love doing things together. So, it worked out fine for me.
(4) We found a bonding activity that helps keep a positive environment at home. Fitness activities keep us both happy and stress-free. Exercise has always been my go-to stress reliever and remains to be an important part of my life for several reasons. It’s such a bonus that my husband is also invested in fitness. We’ve found that doing fitness activities together is not only a fun pastime as a couple, it also picks up our mood after a long day at work. We realized that it’s also an effective deterrent to either of us letting a “bad day” ruin the time left for us to spend together. No one wants to come home to a cranky partner, so it’s best to take it out on those kettle bells instead of your partner!
(5) I learned to be grateful for the smallest things and I do my best to express it by saying “Thank You” as much as I can. For those who have experienced living alone before getting married, this realization might have hit you earlier. For me, it only came now because all my life I lived with my parents. Now that we have to do everything, I realized that I had a lot of help growing up (thanks Mom, Dad, and Elsa). Now my husband and I have to be the ones to help each other out day in and day out. So I thank him all the time!
(6) The best investment we made was buying Stoneware pots and pans! This may seem like a really small matter for some of you, but for me, it helped me a lot. I love our Stoneware pots and pans because it’s easy to use. You don’t need a lot of oil to cook, and the food doesn’t stick to the base of the pan. Less oil means less mess (at least in my experience), and the non-stick surface means easy cleaning for me. I think these gadgets helped make initial kitchen experience a pleasant one!
(7) Marriage is a process; trust the process. In all things I’ve accomplished in life, whether it be in ballet, wushu, running, school, work, etc., I’ve always trusted the process. For as long as you work hard and trust in the effort you put in, you’ll reap the benefits and feel really happy with whatever the outcome because you know you did your best. I learned to view marriage in this light and it’s been really helpful. Sure we’ve stumbled a few times and I know very well there will be greater challenges to hurdle, but so far, this mindset has helped me cope and really push forward.
I’m sure there’s still so much to learn. Maybe after x years this entry will have evolved into a lengthy list that no one will want to read, haha! But anyway, so far this is all I have for now. Adios!